By DEACON ED WALKER
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING
Submitted photo courtesy of Dr. Bill Blanke
On a hot July Saturday morning, the Holy Family Center for Life hosted a picnic for families and others who use or support Natural Family Planning in our diocese. My wife and I attended the picnic, wondering if we’d fit in with the “younger crowd.” We were jokingly considering bringing the precious one-year-old baby girl she watches so that we would have a little child with us as well.
During the picnic, however, I realized that having a baby to fit in was not necessary. We had a wonderful turnout for the picnic, and God provided the most refreshing breeze on that warm morning; but what I noticed most was that everyone was welcome. There were large families, small families and a few couples with no families. It was not about the size of the family; it was just about being with family.
The parking lot had vehicles ranging from small cars to multiple over-sized vans. Kids ranged in age from high school to infant. The older kids gladly helped with and played with the younger ones. The adults encouraged the children to wear name tags so that we knew who they belonged to, since many of the children were intermixed and playing. Parents helped any child who needed it – not just their own. It was an enjoyable experience!
This picnic was the brainchild of Dana and Dr. Bill Blanke. They knew large families sometimes get weird looks, and they wanted to provide an gathering for families where everyone would experience love and acceptance – not sideways glances. And they succeeded!
Now, you may wonder if those glances really happen. I am one of eight children (No. 7 for those who are wondering), and I still remember going places and hearing the soft count of kids as we walked by; and if they knew my family well and one of us kids was missing, you could hear the quiet guessing as to which one it was.
I am blessed to have three children of my own, and my sister has five. One month a year the cousins are perfectly spaced to where there is one for every year. When our kids were little, I would meet my sister at different parks, and we’d let the cousins play. Our gatherings had a dual purpose. They were opportunities for the cousins to play and develop lifelong relationships with each other that every parent loves to see in their family, and they helped me give my wife a break if she needed one.
When the oldest of the cousins was 9 and there was a child every year down to one, we’d always get “that look” insinuating “what were you guys thinking” – or worse. We just smiled. We never told them we were brother and sister with two different families. It didn’t matter to us. All our children were wanted and welcomed, just like at the NFP picnic.
So, what does a picnic and my experiences have to do with Natural Family Planning?
Everything.
It is all about being welcomed and loved. That is at the heart of Natural Family Planning. Welcoming and loving any child God gives you. If Natural Family Planning helps you conceive one child, you gratefully welcome and love it. If God gives you a baseball team worth of children, you welcome and love them. Natural Family Planning is being open to God’s gift of life and His plans for your family.
Most people who give stares or looks may be more intrigued than judgmental. I’m finding myself looking at large families and counting them – often because it brings back happy memories. I couldn’t imagine a childhood any other way.
The next time you see a family with children, whether it be one child or 10, smile and congratulate them for a beautiful family. It isn’t about the number of children, but knowing they are all welcomed and loved!
Deacon Ed serves Resurrection Parish in Evansville, and as vice-president of the Holy Family Center for Life.