By Laura McKenzie
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING
Submitted photo
Editor’s note: Laura McKenzie recently interviewed Ben and Rachel Ragan, who are members of who are members of St. John the Baptist Parish in Newburgh, about Natural Family Planning and its impact on their life together.
Q: When did you come to an awareness/knowledge of NFP, and how did you develop a desire to learn more about this for your life?
A: During our conversion process of coming into the Church, we learned about the Church’s teaching on openness to life. It was a totally new idea to us. Prior to that, we had not considered God’s perspective on us limiting our family size through contraception or sterilization.
Q: When did it become your desire within marriage?
A: We came into the Catholic Church in 2018; and at that point, we had already been married for 10 years and had two children. We had used contraception for several years and then had chosen sterilization. We both experienced a gradual, yet clear, change of heart after coming into the Church. The Holy Spirit worked on each of us individually; and then one day, Rachel said, “I’m not sure what we should do, but I’ve been thinking about you getting a vasectomy reversal.” And Ben said, “I’ve been thinking the same thing.” We both smiled, knowing that the decision was basically made at that moment.
Q: How have the Church's teachings on marriage and openness to life appealed to you over the years?
A: Through the teachings of the Church on openness to life, God softened our hearts and gave us the desire to have more children. So, seven years after being sterilized, we had the procedure to reverse that decision and prayed that the reversal would be successful.
Q: What have been the biggest benefits to practicing NFP/openness to life?
A: We’ve found that being open to more children has changed our perspective on how we view the children in our home now. There has been a grace that has allowed us to soften our hearts and experience an increase in patience and gentleness in parenting.
Q: What were/are the biggest challenges?
A: It can be challenging in the chaotic moments of life to not desire more absolute control over our lives, but stepping back to see things from God’s perspective is always helpful. In the challenging moments, it’s helpful to think of what our Thanksgiving table will look like in the decades to come. Relinquishing control in this area of our life only helps us to grow in trusting Jesus and mature in our process of detaching from the things the world tells us are important.
Q: How would you describe this teaching of our Church to those who are most skeptical or indifferent to it?
A: We totally understand those who are skeptical or indifferent to the Church’s teaching on openness to life because we were previously those people. We didn’t fully know the Church’s teaching; and what we did know of it, we thought to be completely irrelevant to modern life. But what we came to understand is that God’s design for marriage and family is, of course, superior to what we might think we want for our lives.
We would hope to tell skeptics that a desire to control one’s own life is attractive on the surface, but God really does know us better than we know ourselves. We thought we had a great plan for our life when we decided to control and limit our family size; but thankfully, God softened and changed our hearts. Now we can see that His ways, His plans for us and His design for marriage and family are what lead to true joy and happiness.
Q: What are you most grateful for in regards to NFP?
Since having a change of heart after coming into the Church and becoming open to new life, we’ve welcomed two more children into our family. We are so grateful for their precious lives. And it’s sad and unimaginable to think that, if we’d not experienced our conversion, they would not be here. We’ve seen that, through our willingness to be open to life, our marriage has only strengthened and matured. God has used this journey of our life to bless us beyond measure.