By Maria Sermersheim
Meditatione Ignis
In Jane Austen’s novel, “Sense and Sensibility,” the younger sister Marianne suffers a romantic disappointment which is swiftly followed by the revelation that the man had a record of rotten ways; he was not a man of virtue and honesty as she had thought. The older sister Elinor observes that Marianne “felt the loss of [his] character yet more heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart…” That line resonates deeply.
Especially as Christians, the loss of one’s character must be far more distressing than the loss of one’s affection. It is clear from the course of life that not every person will get along well with every other person they meet. Everyone can think of someone who annoys them, whose manners and disposition simply do not mesh well with theirs. However, the more truly one is seeking holiness, the more they are able to forebear with patience and the more they are able to love the other in spite of their dislike.
I think it is important to reflect on Paul’s beautiful injunction in Philippians 2 with precisely this context in mind. Thinking of someone in the Body of Christ with whom you struggle to enjoy their company, remember: “If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing” (Philippians 2:1-2). We should have the same love of Christ and be united in hearts pursuing the Lord, thinking the one thing that all elements of our lives should be oriented to God, regardless of how much we do or don’t like the person before us. That unity in the most fundamental matters of life is true encouragement in Christ and solace in love. That unity, irrespective of one’s personal whims, is the true perfection of joy.
Even though the loss of the man’s affection was devastating for Marianne, and Austen describes Marianne’s disconsolate reaction as perhaps too extreme, both the author and her literary character rightly express the far more grave loss of the man’s moral character. Despite the heartbreak, Marianne could have had encouragement and solace in the thought that the man was ultimately seeking God in his goodness, even if he did not want Marianne to be his closest companion on the journey. But after more of his dastardly character had been discovered, and it was clear that the man sought not God but only his own pleasure at the expense of others, all hopes of fundamental unity were dashed.
As Lent winds to a close, may we recognize that the loss of affection is not nearly so disastrous as a loss of character. Let us pray that our joy may be complete by maintaining unity of mind and heart, seeking God above all else.