By Maria Sermersheim
Meditatione Ignis
It can be disheartening to realize that there really is always room for improvement … and always need of it, too. This realization can be simple to consider intellectually, but hard to swallow fundamentally. It really strikes to the heart, to our prideful hearts, to recognize that we will never be perfect in any department of life, even those areas that we consider ourselves most experienced, reflective and able to give advice. We like to have it all figured out, and if we are really accomplished or able to advise many friends on a certain subject, then it can be easy to think that we actually do … until something comes along to show us that our paradigm does not quite apply to every case, and maybe life does remain yet more complicated.
However, these moments when we recognize our lack of perfection should turn us not to disappointment, but to opportunity. These areas where we lack perfection are places that we can improve and continue to seek God in new ways. The fact that “there is always room for improvement” just means that we can always increase the profundity with which we experience the truth, beauty and goodness of God. We must simply never stop desiring to improve — that is, to love more deeply.
Augustine of Hippo, in his 4th homily on 1 John, said, “The entire life of a good Christian is a holy desire. What you desire, however, you don’t yet see. But by desiring you are made large enough, so that, when there comes what you should see, you may be filled. For, if you wish to fill a purse, and you know how big what will be given you is, you stretch the purse, whether it is made of cloth or leather or anything else. You know how much you are going to obtain, and you see that your purse is small; by stretching it you make it that much larger. This is how God stretches our desire through delay, stretches our soul through desire, and makes it large enough by stretching it.”
Augustine quickly clarifies that what he speaks of seeing is God — we must stretch our souls (by loving more deeply) to receive more of God and his grace, and the more that we see God, the more we should desire to see more of him.
Every encounter with another person should help us to stretch our souls, to love more deeply and desire more Truth, Beauty and Goodness. We must be open to correction — maybe the way that we prefer to communicate or to organize activities, etc., is not the only way to do it, and being open to other true and good modes of being on this daily level can open us up to God, the True and Good mode of Being itself.
Lent is a privileged time to stretch our souls and discipline our prideful hearts; but Easter does not mark an end to that project. I want to see more of the power of Christ’s Resurrection in my days and to receive more of the newness of life that we attain through him — which means that I can never stop stretching my soul. May we all celebrate this Easter season not only with gratitude for God’s abundant grace, but also with renewed desire for continual improvement.