By Deacon Aaron Herrenbruck, Special to The Message
I’ve spent most of my life working really hard to be satisfied.
I am blessed by my family. From the very beginning I was given all that I need. Truly loving parents, an older brother and sister to look up to, and a little brother to look up to me. I have always known what true love feels like, because I had a family that loved me unconditionally. My parents instilled in me the Faith, they taught me that prayer and going to church is not a question. They sacrificed time and money for me to play all the sports I wanted and they worked hard to ensure I had all that I could need in order to be satisfied. However, it is quite easy to take these types of things for granted.
My Mom tells me that when I was just a little guy, I use to say that I wanted to be the pope. Thankfully, with age comes wisdom, and I can’t think of a worse job for myself. But, a desire to be a priest was an ember in my heart that just never went out. And boy, did I try to snuff it out. All through high school in my search to be satisfied, I thought that having fun was the only thing that could really do it. So, I always tried to make sure whatever I was doing was fun. Happiness and excitement were key. There was no room for sacrifice or sadness. It came time to apply for college and I was hit with a tough question – what do I want to do for the rest of my life? I had felt that ember of the priesthood smoldering in my heart, but I just knew that priesthood was not a fun life and would never satisfy me. So, I went to Purdue in order to find something that would.
I loved Purdue. I got to meet so many people and new ideas. I also found that with freedom, the lack of forced structure gives you a great opportunity to find out what is really important to you. I stuck with what I knew. Have fun and then make sure you get to church on Sunday. I quickly found that all of the fun I was having was not fulfilling. It left me wanting. I had good friends and many opportunities, but I was empty inside. During my sophomore year, I took a class called “History of Christianity” and we read St. Augustine’s Confessions. It was after getting to know St. Augustine’s story that I, for the first time, even considered that holiness and even the priesthood were possible for me. It wasn’t until much later that I started to believe it, but the seed was planted. I started to realize that my heart was most full when I spent time around St. Thomas, the Catholic Church on campus at Purdue. I had a few last ditch efforts to suffocate that desire, but the Lord did not give up on me and I am forever grateful for that. I graduated from Purdue and then went to St. Meinrad for seminary in 2019.
Seminary is where I found peace and became a man. It is where I learned who God is and where I relearned what Love really is. It is the same Love I received from my family my whole life. I learned what is truly satisfying to me is being a part of other people’s journeys and leading them to God. I learned that holiness was not only possible for me, but that it is necessary for me. I learned that God had been calling me to be His priest my whole life. On June 14, I will finally fully answer that call and I know that I will never have to worry about being satisfied ever again. Because I will give my life to the only one who is capable of giving me true peace.
As I read all those years ago now from St. Augustine’s Confessions:
“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”