By Kelli Lovell
Natural Family Planning
The rosary has been a constant in my life since praying it regularly in Sister Mary Joan’s second-grade classroom at St. Philip School in Posey County. The way I pray it, however, seems to make it fresh and different every time. Maybe it’s different because of the reason I’m praying it. Maybe it is fresh because of who I’m praying it with. I love that, as a child, I could pray it fervently in my basement during tornado warnings and find comfort in its repetition. I love that it can bring a focus and anchor to my daily routine if I pray it in the morning. I love that I can pray it on automatic as I stress about something or while my kids are climbing under the pews at Good Shepherd Church. Sometimes I can delve mindfully into each mystery during adoration or before Mass if my kids are behaving. For me, the rosary is a failsafe, a refuge and feels like coming home no matter what I’m going through or where I’m praying it. Thank you, Mom and Sister Mary Joan, for sharing this treasure with me.
Recently, while praying a rosary, I was offering it for the intention of my many NFP clients who are struggling with infertility. I walk closely alongside many couples who are in the midst of a struggle to conceive and feel little hope. Months and cycles that pass with yet another negative pregnancy test can become demoralizing if perspective isn’t renewed. Couples choosing to trust me during this time is humbling and a constant reminder to me that God’s plans are not always consistent with our own desires.
As I prayed that rosary, I reflected on the sorrowful mysteries. Perhaps my favorite in that they remind me of the depths of God’s love and Jesus’ humanity. Sweet Jesus, kneeling in the garden of Gethsemane in agony as the hours to his ultimate sacrifice ticked by. He knew he had to say goodbye to the future he would have preferred if he considered only his own human will. I’m sure in some ways he would have liked to fast-forward to the event so he could get the inevitable over with. Much like my clients anxiously endure the two weeks between ovulation and their period: some praying for a positive pregnancy test, others waiting impatiently to start a period. NFP users can certainly experience another version of “The Agony in the Garden” when relying upon an NFP method to postpone pregnancy, praying it has not “failed” them or that their decision to bend the rules and “take a chance” will not result in a surprise that, while welcome, would still be overwhelming given their personal situation.
As the mother of seven children now, I often tell my clients about my own experience of their version of the “The Agony in the Garden.” Seeking to start our family within the first year after our marriage turned into two and a half years of waiting before God’s plan for our family began to unfold. That first positive pregnancy test brought to mind the first joyful mystery, The Annunciation, and the unparalleled response Mary had at the news of a new, unrepeatable soul. Conversely, this mystery can help clients who are postponing pregnancy in that Mother Mary surrendered herself to an unexpected pregnancy knowing God’s plan was better than her own.
Using NFP faithfully provides one often overlooked benefit to marriages. Discernment of God’s plan for the family is renewed on a regular basis for couples practicing NFP. Depending on what a couple discerns with the Holy Spirit in each and every cycle, we are all still surrendering at least a two percent possibility (depending on the method of NFP being used) that God can invite us to procreate with him in his wisdom and not solely our own human will. How beautiful that, no matter the result of that period of “agony,” we can always trust that God is just as present with us as he was with Jesus that night in the garden. We are never alone in our struggles. How interesting that, continuously in our married lives, if we are truly open to the Church’s teaching on marital love, NFP gives us the chance to constantly renew the words Jesus was brave enough to utter as he communed with his father: “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
The Church has given us 20 such mysteries to meditate upon. As I continue through my life praying rosaries, I look forward to the many ways that God will reveal his plans and wisdom to me, my husband, my family and my clients until our own experience of the first glorious mystery, the Resurrection.
Kelli Lovell, PharmD, CACP, CFCP, is a Clinical Pharmacist at Deaconess Hospital in Evansville. She also is a Certified Anticoagulation Care Provider, a Certified FertilityCare Practitioner and a Responsible Practitioner for the Holy Family Center for Life.