By Kristine Schroeder
Lessons Learned
Our Walking with Purpose group recently finished an eight week series “Living Joy” with Chris Stefanick. It was excellent, full of many helpful ideas about how to deal with life’s ups and downs. In his last video, Stefanick stated that if everything else was forgotten, the most important idea to remember was this. “How do you frame your life?”
After 50 years of nursing, my mother, a lifelong learner, decided to try her hand at painting, specifically watercolors. She found a teacher who was encouraging and talented in her own right. For many years, Mom took group classes twice a month. While no “Whistler’s Mother,” Mom was heartened to hear her teacher comment after completing her first painting, “Louise, I don’t think you realize what you have accomplished.”
Mom went on to complete 33 paintings from lilacs in a vase to barns to rusted trucks in a cornfield. Now those paintings grace all her children’s homes. For her, however, the painting wasn’t finished until she found the ideal frame to enhance her work.
And, so it is for us. Are we aware of how we choose the frames that encompass our lives? Do we choose to see opportunity in our trials or immediately question why we must endure them? Do we choose to hold on to past hurts from a person or an institution, and thereby never resolve the issue, which in turn stunts our spiritual and emotional growth?
Recently, a friend shared the fact that her mother abandoned her Catholic faith years ago and continues to be angry at the Church. Why? Because when she decided to marry a non-Catholic, her parish priest refused to perform the ceremony. Sadly, his actions were rigid and harsh. Perhaps, another priest might have reached a more compassionate solution. Unfortunately, since that incident, her hurt has framed her feelings for the Church.
All of us at times have been disappointed or angry with decisions by the Pope, a clergyman or others in the hierarchy, but do we allow that anger to spill over into all our thoughts concerning the Church? Do we subsequently frame every decision in a negative light, or are we willing to study each action separately and continue to seek our faith with an open heart?
What about our daily encounters? If a close friend or relative inadvertently says something that hurts or that disagrees with our viewpoint, we usually excuse the slight or allow room for a difference of opinion. However, that same situation may not end so well if the person is someone we do not feel a particular affinity toward. We need to be aware of the frame we use in all situations.
My friend Theresa has had more than her share of trials. At 5, her parents divorced due to her dad’s alcoholism. Her mother died when she was in eighth grade. In her 30s, Theresa lost her oldest sister to brain cancer. Theresa herself had two close brushes with death. After the birth of her daughter, she had to have an emergency hysterectomy. In her late 30s, doctors discovered a benign brain tumor. When it was removed, she was deaf in her left ear and was left with a weakened sense of balance. Five years ago she had a scare from breast cancer. Yet, as she dealt with her sufferings, Theresa ultimately framed them as a door to new opportunities. She is my hero.
Mother Teresa once said that no day passes without some trial. The difference lies in how we approach each situation. Will it become an unscalable mountain, or a molehill we tamp down before proceeding forward? Understandably, these words are easier to put on paper than to practice.
Where do we find the courage to face the tribulations of our life? Psalm 39:7 gives us the answer, “Our hope is in the Lord.” We pray daily for the grace to face each new and challenging situation while also dwelling in the knowledge of all the blessings bestowed on us and also the near misses from which we have been protected. In the end, the best frame for our lives is praise and gratitude for God’s unending love and mercy for us. AMEN.