By Britney Wagler, LCSW
Youth First
Our children look to us for answers, and sometimes we don’t know what to say or how to support them, especially when it comes to mental health. According to the 2024 KIDS COUNT Data Book: 35.7 percent of students in grades 7-12 reported in the past year they felt so sad or hopeless for two or more weeks in a row that they stopped doing usual activities. Additionally, 17.2 percent reported in the past year they seriously considered attempting suicide, and 12.8 percent reported in the past year they made a plan about how to attempt suicide. If your child is not directly affected by mental health issues, it is likely that one of their friends or someone they know is. Mental health is a tough topic to talk about; however, the more we talk about it, the easier it becomes. When a friend is struggling, your child can feel confused, helpless or even guilty. They may not know what to say to their friend and look to you for help.
What can you say to your child so they can support their friend? First, normalize mental health issues. Talking about mental health with your child can better educate them and provide them with important information. If you don’t know the answers, look up information from a reputable source together. Mental Health America and SAMHSA are great resources.
Second, remind your child that their friend is still their friend. Just like your child wouldn’t stop being a friend to someone because they were diagnosed with diabetes, your child shouldn’t stop being friends with someone who has a mental health diagnosis. Remind your child that their friend is still the same person they were before. Continue to include them in all your activities and plans.
Third, encourage your child to check in on their friend. Give your child permission to come to you with any concerns they may have about their friend. Remind them that if anyone talks about suicide or self-harm, to tell their parent or another trusted adult. Remember that mental health disorders are not contagious. Your child will not catch it from someone else.
Lastly, if your child’s friend does attempt to harm themselves in any way, remind your child that it is not their fault. It’s ok to be sad and scared about what happened, but they are not responsible for anyone else’s actions, only their own. Comfort them and extend that comfort to their friend. Children watch how you react and respond to crisis situations. You set the tone on how they handle mental health issues with others in the future.
If you or anyone else is thinking about suicide, please contact 988 for the local Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or 911 for emergency responders.
Britney Wagler, LCSW, serves as Youth First Social Worker at Flaget Elementary School and Vincennes Rivet Middle/High School in Vincennes and Washington Catholic Elementary School and Washington Catholic Middle/High School in Washington.