By Kaitlin Klein
Wonderful Adventure
I often view Lent as an enormous opportunity, a once-a-year period of time that I am bound to use well, an intense 40 days that I had better not let pass me by, a time to die to myself, grow in perseverance, engage in mortifications, fast, pray more, give alms, increase spiritual reading and Scripture reading, reflect on Jesus’ passion … I could go on. For me, Lent sometimes comes with a pressure to do my very best, to the extent that it becomes counterproductive and probably makes the Lord chuckle and want to foil my plans to teach me that he is in control. He knows best. And, in fact, I can do absolutely none of these things without him. I believe these desires to take advantage of the graces that Lent has to offer can be good, and prayerful discernment of Lenten disciplines is prudent. However, as St. Jane Franes de Chantal reminds us, “One thing alone is necessary: it is to have God.”
When it comes to prayer, an important foundation of the spiritual life, there is no need to complicate it. I was struck by St. Jane’s writings, as well as encouraged and relieved! She says when in prayer,
“Do not examine yourself in order to learn if you are to persevere, if you are being faithful, if you are pleasing to God. Empty yourself of your very self and of every anxiety, apprehension, trouble, or fear … Your remedy will be a simple gazing upon God, with no attempt to reply to him … Hold your eyes on God and leave the doing to Him. That is all the doing you have to worry about, and the only activity which God asks of you and towards which it is he alone who is drawing you. I may add that it is this that our blessed father (Francis de Sales) would always order me to practice, holding the mind in all simplicity and directness, without act or effort, in that simple gaze upon God and contemplation of God, in total surrender to his will; without a wish to see, or feel, or carry out any work, but merely content to remain in his presence — relaxed, at peace, confident, patient … this sole and single gaze upon God embraces all our duty, especially in a state of suffering … One thing alone is necessary: it is to have God.”
I think this idea could be applied to our Lenten disciplines as well. What good are the many disciplines we undertake if they do not direct our minds and hearts to God? What good is it to mortify ourselves if there is no spiritual benefit? This is absolutely not meant to give us an excuse to give up on practices the Lord has led us to, but to help us know the value of discerning what God has in store for us instead of relying on ourselves. The Lord always knows best. He wants us to seek him and abide in his presence. If we open our hearts and surrender to him, he can do great things. He himself is all love and goodness.
Living in this knowledge and peace can allow us to take up prayer, fasting and almsgiving in his embrace. We can make sacrifices and die to ourselves in many ways out of love for him. I think a challenging Lent, one full of sacrifice and dying to self, can be extremely fruitful, as long as we remember the true reason we undertake disciplines, allow the Lord to lead us and keep our gaze on him alone. He wants to draw us close in ways that he knows best; let us remember that we can do nothing without him. May we continue to take up our cross and rise with Jesus on Easter.