By Maria Sermersheim
Meditatione Ignis
A few weeks ago, I was startled by the familiarity and freedom expressed by my friend’s cousin Maeve, a familiarity and freedom in which I think we would all do well to grow.
I was standing in the confession line, arms crossed and eyes focused on the Stations of the Cross on the wall, inattentive to the people passing me in the aisle on their various basilica errands. Suddenly, with the briefest warning of a hand on my back and a quick “Hi, Maria,” Maeve paused to hug me before continuing on her way.
Maeve’s hug struck me because it was so unnecessary and so intentional. It was a simple gift that touched my heart, largely because there were so many easy reasons for her not to have hugged me. Maeve and I do not know each other all that well, but I became good friends with her cousin, who is also a student on campus this past year. Maeve and I have seen each other at Mass sometimes, and I gave her a ride back to campus from a big family dinner, which I joined, but that is the extent of our interactions. This minimal familiarity, then, was what I first noted: though it surprised me, she felt familiar enough with me to interrupt my prayer in the confession line to give a quick hug. As I continued to reflect gratefully on this little encounter, which made my day, I realized that I had identified several other ostensible obstacles to the hug, too.
Firstly, she had been walking past me from the back of the line, so she was the one who recognized me without any burden of interaction since I was facing in the opposite direction. Secondly, she was walking at a quick clip with a group that seemed to be on a mission, so there was no need to stop for someone who had not even seen her. In fact, it was more of an inconvenience. Thirdly, I was in line for confession — and it is at least my tendency to leave people alone if they are praying, supposedly out of sensitivity to their focus and personal space. And yet her interruption was not at all an affront to me; it was the greatest gift! Her recognition and choice to embrace me despite the inconvenience and regardless of our limited relationship was striking. Maeve’s hug exemplified a free and familiar love that I did not expect.
Maeve showed me that we were not as much of strangers as I thought, certainly not in a fundamental sense. We do not know each other well, not on the basis of any extensive social interaction, but we are united in our love of her cousin and, far more deeply, in our love of the Lord. In my mind, there had been so many excuses and inconveniences for her to stop and hug me, but perhaps the real issue is my own sense of propriety, which is evidently too measured and restricted. Not one of the excuses I would have used posed a true obstacle, and not one was a good reason to deny another person the touch of Christ and a moment of grace. Maeve’s hug was free of fear and did not submit to the facile excuses of inconvenience, which comprise the greatest obstacle to love. It is so easy to submit to the little excuses and to think that no one is the worse for neglecting an unnecessary hug … but I was so much the better for it.
This Christmas season, I pray the Lord will help us all to love more freely and familiarly, without regard for convenience or necessity.