By Haley Droste, LSW
Youth First
Where is the balance? You know – the perfect mixture of family life, work life and creating time for yourself. It has to exist. As a mother there are so many expectations. Our children should be in a million activities; you should attend every activity; your house should be spotless; you should exercise daily; and there should be some type of made-from-scratch organic meal on the table every night, where your family sits down and eats together in peace.
Let’s get real for a minute; that is no parents’ reality. The reality is that parents feel stretched in a thousand different directions. So where is that perfect balance? That happy place where you feel like you’re giving enough to your family, but also to yourself? Is it okay for a mother to leave the house and do something alone or with a friend, and if it is why do we feel like we’re ruining our children’s lives while we’re gone?
The truth is there is no magic ratio for time spent with family vs. time spent alone to equal the happiest mom. This looks different for everyone. It is, however, important to take some time to yourself.
So how do you make time for yourself?
- Make a date with yourself. Seriously, schedule a time for yourself to sit down and decide what you can do for you and realistically not feel overwhelmed by missing things at home. This looks different for everyone, and that is okay.
- Make a list of things you want to try, or do again. Maybe you used to be an avid reader, but since having kids you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow and have forgotten what it feels like to be lost in a good book. Pick those books back up.
- Contact your long-lost friends (they probably need time too).
- Delegate, let your village help you. The weight of the world does not have to be solely on your shoulders.
- Decide how often you need this time and schedule it.
The more love you show yourself, the easier it will become to take this time. Giving yourself time to reset will allow you the energy and patience you’ve been looking for. Life is not a Pinterest board, things get messy and in all of that chaos it is important to remember you’re a good mom. Allowing yourself to reset helps you handle the messes more seamlessly.
Haley Droste serves as Youth First social worker at Westside Catholic School.