By Amy Back, Youth First
As parents, we care for our children deeply. We would do anything in the world to help them through difficult times. Because of this, it can feel defeating when we realize our children may need outside help that we are not able to give them. Know that if you are in a place where you are choosing to get your child professional help, there is nothing to feel bad about; in fact, it speaks volumes that you care enough to take a step and get extra support for your child.
Every child is different so where one child may come to their parent asking for professional help, other children might not feel comfortable asking for help at all. This is where we as parents can step in if we are noticing signs that our child could benefit from professional assistance. Some of these signs could look like our child struggling with expressing emotions in healthy ways, substance use, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, isolation, engaging in risky behaviors or even persistent physical symptoms like stomach ache, headache, chest pain, etc. We know our children best, so when our gut is telling us something is off, it likely is.
Just like some children feel comfortable asking for help, some children may even be turned off to the idea of getting professional help. Though it has gotten a lot better through the years, there can still be a stigma or negative perception that goes along with needing “help” or extra support. If you are in a place where you want to introduce the idea of seeking professional help to your child but are unsure of how they will respond, here are some things to consider.
First, make sure to reiterate to your child that you want to empower them and strengthen them. Seeking outside help is all about helping your child to learn the tools and strengthen them so that they are able to use these tools in times of high stress or emotions. Remind them that the emotional discomfort they are feeling is something that does not have to be their norm and that this is a way to help combat that. Another thing to remind your child is that it takes time. If your child is able to go into the process knowing that this is an investment in their mental health, and not necessarily something that will change overnight is so important because it helps them to think realistically about the process and not get discouraged if they don’t immediately see drastic results.
A big thing we can do as parents is remind them that they are not in this alone. Not only will they now have added support through an outside professional, but you as their parent will still be with them every step of the way. Let them know that you will still be as involved as they are comfortable with you being, and at the same time, give them space if that is what they are needing as well. We as parents can show our child that they don’t need to feel uncomfortable about seeking professional help and that at the same time, they still have us to fall back on.
Amy Back, LSW, is a Youth First Social Worker at St. Wendel School in St. Wendel.