By Kristine Schroeder
Lessons Learned
A month ago, a mourning dove decided the bird feeder a foot from my kitchen window was an ideal maternity ward. As my son-in-law Brendan was helping with dishes, he suddenly said, “That bird just laid an egg!” Later, with no audience, she laid a second. Thus began her month-long vigil. For the first 14-plus days, I never once saw her leave the nest; nor did a helpmate appear with dinner.
Finally, two hatchlings peeked from under her shelter, but her work was still not complete. Again, it seemed she never left for nourishment but fed them from what she had eaten at a previous time. The babes continue to mature and eventually will depart giving mom a much-deserved rest.
Her behavior suggests two virtues we need when faced with challenges in our everyday lives: patience and perseverance (qualities much easier espoused than practiced). When circumstances weigh heavy, I often wake in the wee hours of the morning. Darkness hovers and light seems a distant promise. Wrestling with sleeplessness, often my concerns win; I concede their victory and seek solace in my latest spiritual reading. Though answers rarely appear quickly, usually God provides a line or phrase that comforts.
That happened a few weeks ago. Close to finishing the book “Divine Mercy” by Drew Mariani, I read a few pages but to no avail. I continued (persevered more likely) and was rewarded a bit later when Drew discussed a mother struggling with her son’s addiction (the issue was not similar, but Drew’s thoughts were). While the son initially served jail time before his recovery, he credited that stay with eventually turning his life around and went on to help others trapped in that same cycle.
Drew then stated the line that speaks to our faith in difficult moments. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28). Repeatedly throughout our lives, God calls us to relinquish what we cannot control and put our concerns in his hands thereby letting Him act in the best way. “Thy will be done.”
Why, then, is it so difficult to do that – to trust implicitly in God’s goodness? Our faith is often a roller coaster between trust and peace, and fret and struggle, when crisis looms. The answer bears a multitude of factors. Putting Romans into practice requires not only patience and perseverance but also an acceptance of loss and suffering. That, for we humans, is a frightening proposition. And, not only are we ask to accept suffering, but as St. Pope John Paul II states, “to use it for good.”
Elisabeth Arrighi, a French socialite, convert, mystic, and evangelist was born into a wealthy Parisian family. In 1866, she married Felix Leseur, a journalist, diplomat and confirmed atheist. Two years into their marriage, she had a conversion experience and henceforth spent her life aiding the less fortunate while also praying for Felix’s conversion. After her premature death at 48, Felix read her diaries. Witnessing her devout, unwavering faith, her total trust in God’s will and her prayers for his conversion, Felix not only converted but became a Jesuit priest. In 1915, he had her journals published and subsequently spent the rest of his 88 years evangelizing the Catholic faith.
Her story is not only a testimony to Romans 8:28 but, I believe, also an explanation about why we Christians still have lingering doubts and fears when faced with difficulties. Elisabeth’s story illustrates a point we prefer to avoid. In our humanness, we desire answers and assurances now, soon or at least while we are still alive. Instead, we are often left bereft and adrift. However, her story is a reminder that God’s plan is larger than time.
Our wishes may not be answered in our lifetime, and we may not understand what purpose suffering serves. Let us pray daily for the graces to trust God totally. Only then will we find peace and, hopefully, answers. Sometimes I yearn for the simple faith of the birds.