By Jenna Pauli, LCSW
Youth First
“Confidence isn’t never failing, it’s getting back up.” Confidence is one of the most important traits we can model and instill in our children from a young age. Confidence gives children the trust in themselves and their capabilities so they’re willing to try new things. There are several ways parents can help strengthen their child’s confidence.
We all know that children are sponges, modeling what their parents do and say. Parents can model confidence in oneself. When you try a new skill with optimism, you are modeling that it is okay to try new things, even if you are not great at first. Be honest about your worries or anxieties, but don’t fixate- show your child you can do things scared and find success! Trying new things helps your child feel capable and confident when challenging situations arise.
Allow your child to fail. Parents want to protect their child from failure, but this only takes away their ability to strengthen their problem solving and conflict resolution skills. Failing can encourage greater effort, a skill that will carry them well throughout life. You can also strengthen confidence in praising the child for their grit versus their success. Phrases like, “I love how hard you are working” or “I love that you are determined to complete the task” reinforce effort above accomplishments.
Embrace your child’s imperfections along the way. When you are watching television or reading a book with your child, talk to them about the challenges the characters are facing. Remind your child that perfection is unrealistic and talk to them about how the characters could look at the problem differently to find success.
Help your child find what they are passionate about. When kids discover something they love, it helps to build their sense of identity, naturally growing their confidence. Your child will see their talents grow, a boost to their self-esteem.
Goals can help your child feel strong. Setting small and large goals gives your child the determination to work towards something. Validate the work they put in along the way and celebrate their successes. Using the SMART goal strategy, you can ensure that the goals set are attainable for your child. Talk to your child about what it feels like for them to reach a goal and doing it for themselves versus for a reward.
Remind your child that you love them no matter what. Praise them the same when they win as when they lose. Make sure your child knows that you love them and you think they are worthy all the time — not just when they do great things. This will carry them through difficult challenges throughout their entire life.
There are many ways to strengthen confidence. This, like many others, is a lifelong commitment to ensuring your child is prepared to tackle whatever challenges life throws their way. Small, everyday commitment will raise strong, confident kids, teens and adults.
Jenna Pauli, LCSW, serves as Youth First social worker at Good Shepherd Catholic School in Evansville.