By Kristine Schroeder
Lessons Learned
“All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful.” – Flannery O’Connor
The Church has been encouraging the Sacrament of Reconciliation, now it seems more than ever. As a child attending a Catholic grade school and high school, I went to confession once a month, usually on the first Friday. However, when I matriculated to a secular college, I honestly cannot remember if I went to the sacrament more than once a year. My parents didn’t make it a matter of importance. Therefore, except for Church reminders during Lent, reconciliation fell short on my list of important things to accomplish.
Even as a parent with children in Catholic schools, it seems I again needed a reminder during Advent and Lent about the importance of reconciliation. Now, because of Christ Renews His Parish, the Divine Mercy Chaplet promises, various retreats and other podcasts, this sacrament has become an essential part of my spiritual life.
John the Baptist in Matthew 3:2 says, “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Reconciliation is a vital part of reaching that kingdom. It aids us in seeing “the plank in our own eye,” which can then contribute to positive changes in our lives. Confession impels us to contemplate life from another’s perspective. This in turn encourages us to release past misunderstandings and forgive more easily. At best, reconciliation allows us a greater measure of benevolence toward our fellow man.
The sacrament approached prayerfully often motivates a change of attitude and, consequently, of behaviors. Personally, where I was impatient before with a loved one’s “faults” as I saw them, now I have learned to pause, pray and ponder about possible reasons for the actions I deem frustrating. Though I continue to struggle with reacting too quickly in some cases, I believe the graces of the sacrament have helped me to curb my impulsive responses.
Finally, by attending reconciliation more regularly, hardened hearts can be softened. In turn, this leads us to a greater openness to God’s word during Mass or in our daily readings. As a wise person once told me, instead of hearing a particular passage and thinking about how someone else should change, now we are more apt to wonder how God is trying to direct our lives.
Resistance to change is exactly why most of us avoid reconciliation. Yet, in doing so, we bypass the opportunity to grow spiritually, emotionally and socially. Change is frightening, it often demands that we think and act differently.
For years, I shied away from opportunities to deepen my faith. On the surface, I said I didn’t have the time. However, subconsciously I believe I feared that God was calling me to change, and change can be painful. Most of us believe that as long as we stick to the status quo, everything will be under control. That thought makes me smile. Growing older has convinced me that little of our existence is in our control.
Change is inevitable. Children grow up. Jobs shift. People die. I believe most Pharisees did not accept Jesus because his words demanded a radical change both in their thoughts and their actions. And, that was an uncomfortable expectation. Their hearts were hardened, and they wanted nothing to do with Jesus’ new way of life!
A friend of mine recently completed a Cursillo. The joy, the excitement and the difference in him was palpable. He took the risk of opening himself up to the word of God through reconciliation, the sacraments and other participants searching for truth in this hedonistic world. In turn, he was rewarded with God’s grace and the ability to view life through a different lens. His joy is a beautiful witness to what happens when we are open to God’s design for our time here on earth.
Recently, I was given a book by Dave Durand entitled, “The Fountain of Youth — Confession: The Only Key to Living Forever.” In the book, Durand contends that “Confession is not a magic pill; it is however, an essential (not optional) part of the spiritual life of saints.” Similar to John the Baptist’s proclamation, Durand also states that if we want to enter God’s kingdom, repentance is a requirement.
Don’t miss the opportunity!
Kristine and her husband Jim Schroeder are members of St. Boniface Parish in Evansville. They have four grown children and 24 grandchildren.