By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW
Youth First
One of the hardest things as a parent is to see our child struggle and be unable to “fix” it. We all want happy, healthy children. In order to achieve that, however, we have to allow our kids to experience and understand a whole range of emotions. When children learn that all emotions are acceptable and a normal part of human life, they can begin to better cope with those emotions in healthy and positive ways. This helps them to build empathy, resiliency and a more positive self-esteem. When we talk openly with our children about their emotions, we also teach them we are a safe space of support regardless of what they are experiencing.
Here are some simple ways to support your child’s emotion identification skills:
- Talk about emotions daily. Make it a habit to check in with your child about how they are feeling. And then really listen to what they have to say. Do not rush to resolve or soothe away their feelings. Be a safe support before you offer to help with solutions.
- Recognize your child’s emotions and respond with compassion. Again, it is easy to want to offer reassurance, but this may come off as dismissive to your child. If they tell you they are scared and you respond with, “There’s nothing to be scared of!”, we are not hearing them as they express their emotions. One of the easiest ways to respond with compassion is by reflecting your child’s emotion back to them. “I can see you are feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
- Model, model, model. The best thing we can do as parents is to demonstrate healthy ways to respond to emotions. Kids learn through observing the world around them. When we continually show our children that hard emotions can be handled in positive ways, they will follow suit.
- Help your child develop a range of tools to use when coping with difficult emotions. There is not a one-size-fits-all solution for emotion regulation. If deep breaths work for one person, they may not work for the next. Some skills can be used at home but not in a classroom. Brainstorm lots of different strategies for your child to have available.
- Ask your child to identify emotions in others, as well. As your child is learning to recognize their own feelings, assist them in recognizing feelings in those around them. What does a sad, happy, scared face look like? How can you tell your friend is angry? This helps to build empathy and an understanding of how to support the emotions of others in a healthy way.
One of the biggest indicators of success later in life is the ability to understand and regulate our emotions. You can help support this success in your child’s life by building emotion identification skills now.
Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW, serves as Youth First Social Worker at St. Benedict Cathedral School in Evansville.