By Maria Sermersheim
Meditatione Ignis
We have all heard the aphorism that actions speak louder than words, but I have been realizing just how complex the relationship between the two can be. Words still matter, and articulating commitments and aspirations is important in order to be able to achieve them, but words alone are insufficient. I would like to say that both the clarity of words and the goodness of actions which follow through on those words are essential, but I’m also learning that clarity of self-expression can be very difficult, and the attempt to articulate commitments in unclear words can obscure our perception of good actions. So do we throw out the value of words altogether? What about Christ’s simple admonition for us to let our “yes” mean “yes” and our “no” mean “no”?
Jesus preached a short parable that offers a bit of a meditation on this relationship between words and actions. In Matthew 21:28-32, we find the story of two sons who were asked to go work in their father’s vineyard. The first son said that he wouldn’t go, but he later changed his mind and went. The second son said that he would go, but he did not. Jesus made the point that despite their opposite words, the actions of the sons showed who did the father’s will; obviously, the first, who did decide to go and work. In this parable, it seems that each son’s intention changed from the time that he was asked to work to the time that he did or didn’t go into the vineyard, so neither son lied in the exact moment; both did mean their “yes” or “no.” But we human beings are fickle creatures, and we change our minds. Clearly, it would be better to do both: to say yes to working in our father’s vineyard and then to go do it. But given our weakness, even if we were obstinate in our initial commitment, it is better to eventually do our father’s will than to promise such action and never to do it.
Someone recently told me, “Don’t listen to what I say; it’s a lie. Just stay and watch.” Now, he didn’t mean that his words are intentionally lies; he was just trying to capture the difficulty that he has in expressing himself. He has a strict categorization of lies and truths, and his words will never entirely capture what he thinks and feels — so, as partial truths, he considers them to be lies. I had not considered such a severe approach to words before, but his comment was a helpful spur to reconsider the parable of the two sons and the relationship between words and actions.
We should certainly try to accomplish a consistency between our words and actions, and clarity of communication is a great good that does bring an important simplicity and joy to life, in my experience. Let us still appreciate the value of the honest word. Words remain worthwhile. But let us also keep in mind that words can be inexact, our thoughts and feelings can be complex, and sometimes the simplification of words only confuses rather than clarifies. It takes more time to stay and watch, more effort to go out into the father’s vineyard and work … but these more patient endeavors will reveal more truly the content and will of each person’s heart.