By Laura McKenzie
Submitted photo
Editor’s note: Laura McKenzie recently interviewed Jeremy and Erin Grabert about their discovery and exploration of, and decision to practice Natural Family Planning. The Graberts are members of Evansville’s Resurrection Parish.
- When did you come to an awareness/knowledge of Natural Family Planning? How did it become a desire to learn more about it? When did it become a part of your desire within marriage?
Jeremy: I first learned of NFP around 2016, seven years into our marriage. Being a convert, I had never really heard of it. It was brought to me by my wife Erin. She was having a real conflict of conscience with birth control. It became something to really consider after our first couple classes.
Erin: I was always aware of NFP, even if I didn’t know it by name. I grew up in a Catholic home as one of 12 children. Though I don’t remember specific conversations about it, I knew that there were natural methods of family planning that existed. In my early 30s, we’d had our two children (ages 5 and 7), and I was on birth control. I knew that staying on it for a long time was bad for me. Even though we were done having children, I didn’t like the idea of anything permanent either. I wanted to explore safer options. Because of my upbringing, my conscience was a factor too; though this was something I ignored for many years.
- How have the Church's teachings on marriage/openness to life appealed to you?
Jeremy: The Church’s teachings are everything. Deacon Tom Goebel, who handled my RCIA, did a great job explaining them. But after becoming Catholic, that direction was not as evident. The teachings were always there, but not talked about much. Those teachings, when sought out on our own, led me to the true meaning of trusting in His plan.
Erin: I was very fortunate to grow up with parents who had a deep love and respect for each other. This made marriage look like a worthwhile commitment; a happy life that was always appealing to me. While I don’t really remember specific discussions about the Church’s teachings on marriage and life, they spoke it through example. There was a culture of life within our home; this mindset was what fostered the love and respect between them. Having witnessed the fruits of the Church’s teachings gave it a lot of merit. I saw that it only reiterated what our nature inclines us to.
- What have been the biggest benefits to practicing NFP/openness to life?
Jeremy: It strengthened every part of my life to be honest. It grew my trust in what God wanted from me as a father. It brought my wife and me so much closer in our marriage, and enforced what the sacrament of marriage truly means.
Erin: The biggest benefit has been a more intimate relationship with Jesus and with my husband. To be open to life, I had to trust in both a lot more. I had to give more of myself to both too. Because of this, the bonds were strengthened.
- What were/are the biggest challenges?
Jeremy: The biggest challenge was probably giving up control and knowing we did not know best. It took a little while to embrace going against what the secular world tells you.
Erin: The first few years, the biggest challenge was having faith in the science of the method and in God's plan. The biggest challenge I face now is having faith in myself and my ability.
- How would you describe this teaching of our Church to those who are most skeptical/indifferent to it?
Jeremy: The Church’s teachings are clear, and intended for our path to get to heaven. They are there for us to look to God and trust in everything we do. What could be greater than co-creating with Him?
Erin: NFP is like a lot of things in life in that you don’t know what you’re missing until you experience it. This was the case with me. I didn’t really think there was anything wrong in my life or in my marriage; what little I knew about NFP left me believing it was confining and too difficult. But like all of the Church’s teachings, it ended up giving me a new freedom I’d never known before. I would encourage anyone who is skeptical to study the method itself and Catholic theology.
- What are you most grateful for in regards to NFP?
Jeremy and Erin: We’re most grateful for the four additional children we were open to receiving because of NFP. We couldn’t imagine life without them. It changed our lives entirely, and for the better. Also a close second is watching my wife grow in her vocation of being a wife and mother. There has been nothing more motivational in my desire to be a better Catholic husband than watching her with our kids.