The power of setting an example

By Kaitlin Klein

Wonderful Adventure

I remember it clearly. Seventh grade – the year my classmates discovered swear words. 

All of a sudden, the hallways (especially during time spent by our lockers) were flooded with strings of interesting words in a distinct vocabulary shift from our younger years. Even back then, it was obvious to me that the great volume of such phrases was due nearly entirely to the fact that they were new, forbidden and, therefore, exciting. 

Not surprising to me, by the time freshman year rolled around, the cussing decreased. It didn’t disappear, but it was no longer a thrill to say a bad word, and I heard them less often. 

I don’t think I’ve ever vocally expressed my dislike of cuss words. However, multiple times throughout college and in my work place, people have apologized to me for swearing in my presence or have made some comment about keeping their words clean while I’m in the room. It always catches me off guard. I think, how do they know I don’t particularly like hearing those words? I don’t cringe or make any other signs that I dislike certain words.  I’m not offended by them and simply accept them as part of many people’s vocabulary. 

The only reason I can think of why someone would apologize for swearing within earshot would be that I don’t use that language myself. Reflecting on this reminds me that my actions, however simple, can have an impact. When my husband and I discuss parenting issues, it always comes up that how we treat one another, how we show our frustration, how we react and interact with people and the world around us, directly affect how our children learn and respond. 

It's beautiful and amazing when I see myself in my daughters, but also can be eye-opening when I see them exhibit less-than-favorable behaviors that I’ve shown them simply through my own actions.

When we notice friends and family we care deeply about fall away from the Church or engage in sin, my husband and I sometimes ask, "What can we do?” We don’t want to get in their business, but we care about their souls. We pray for them, of course, and pray about how the Lord may use us. Sometimes, it’s through a conversation or various means. 

But a lot of the time, we know we can make an impact by simply living lives of faith and as Christ-like as we can. Two ways we’ve observed this is couples living together before marriage and those not attending Mass on Sundays. Simply by living apart before marriage, living chastely during marriage, and keeping chastity a priority, we can “do” something positive. By making Mass a priority on Sundays and not letting anything get in the way of us attending church, we can perhaps make more of an impact than saying, “Go to church!”

I desperately want to teach my children how to love God, live their lives for Jesus and develop strong prayer lives. It seems simple to the point of being silly; but in order to do that, my children must see and hear me live my faith and make getting to heaven a priority. I try to pray out loud, read the Bible out loud; and my kids know that I have silent prayer during their afternoon quiet time. We stop whatever we’re doing at 3 p.m. to say the Divine Mercy prayers, and we’ll pray when we hear an ambulance—just a few ways we bring prayer into the day. How we forgive, love and live all impact our children, our family and our friends. 

Sometimes, knowing that everything I do can and does make an impact feels a little daunting and even overwhelming. On the other hand, it’s exciting, motivating and peaceful because the Lord doesn’t always expect me to have a conversation or do “great” deeds, but allows my own path to holiness to reach others. And, of course, I absolutely learn from the examples of those around me! Let us encourage one another by our words, actions and prayers.