By Kristine Schroeder
Lessons Learned
“The poetry of Song of Songs invites us to reflect on the beauty and joy that come with anticipation and longing.” — Jaime L. Waters
In January of 2024, my 17-year-old granddaughter Emma and I agreed to cut out all soft drinks for an entire year. Yes, you read that correctly — a year! In 2023, Emma had sworn off chocolate (She didn’t inherit her willpower from me.).
Anyway, I agreed. I figured it wouldn’t be that tough as I’m about a twice a month consumer of cokes at best. However, when that pizza or an occasional burger and fries was served, I missed the sweet accompaniment. But, with less than a week’s worth of slips, I made it to 2025! I haven’t done half as well in any Lent.
So, in late September, we decided to make it tougher — one sweet a week for all of October! Having a well-developed sweet tooth, I was a bit leery of the proposition. We hammered out a few exceptions, but basically, desserts were out. I did fantastic for the first 24 hours. Then I text Emma, “Is it Oct. 31 yet?”
However, because we knew that someone else was holding us accountable, we were mostly successful. In fact, appreciating the results, we decided to carry our resolution through Thanksgiving.
What was the value of these sacrifices? On a physical level, I felt better and actually dropped a few pounds. Mentally, I discovered that I had more will-power than I originally thought. It was empowering to develop the control to refuse chocolate cake or a fruit fritter. Spiritually, I offered up the sacrifice as a prayer for those requested. It was also evident that having a companion helped with my resolve.
Finally, I realized that there is joy and beauty in anticipation, something very much lacking in today’s world. We have been robbed of the joy of waiting. Need an answer to a question? Use Google. Want a drink or meal we desire? Take a short drive or make a quick phone call.
In the Gospels, Jesus states that we need to do three things on a regular basis: pray, give alms and fast. Until this point, I was basically in the no pass category for the third requirement. Also, he always sent two disciples on a mission, understanding reinforcement on any journey is necessary.
Youth today are often inundated with toys, electronics and even cars just for the asking. When did working and saving for an item go out of fashion? Many of us can remember our first record, our first pair of brand name tennis shoes, or our first car. Why? Because we were expected to earn it.
In today’s world too many times gratitude and awe has been replaced with a have-all mentality. The excitement of anticipation appears lost on much of the past few generations.
And, let’s talk marriage. Today many couples are cohabitating with no clear commitment. No need to rush to the altar as the world has put its secular seal of approval on something Jesus declared sin. When they do marry, the joy and anticipation spoken of in “Song of Songs” has long past. It’s merely another day, though with fancy clothes and an expensive party.
Our society needs to rewind and work to instill in our children the beauty of delayed gratification. That concept begins as early as the toddler years with the words “wait” and “no” enforced equally by both parents. The lesson continues throughout childhood, the teens and into young adulthood when we allow our children to experience the consequences of their actions, to work and save for what they think they need, and to teach them the appreciation of what they have by allowing them to share in the cost and not buy it for them.
In 2025, let’s resolve as parents and grandparents to raise our expectations. Let our children mow the grass, do the dishes, clean their rooms and get a job. Instead of handing out the extras of life, let them experience the satisfaction and pride of earning them. Let’s gift them with the joy of anticipation and appreciation. In doing so, we will create more self-satisfied children.
Kristine and her husband Jim Schroeder are members of St. Boniface Parish in Evansville. They have four grown children and 24 grandchildren.