By Annie-Rose Keith
Connecting Life and Faith
Sifting through a social media feed of any media-savvy teenager causes a multitude of reactions. History is truly being made in short videos and small images before our eyes every second, and our teenagers, for the most part, are unaware of this unless a bright-eyed content creator or writer brings it to their attention in a way that is most attractive. Social media is a tremendous gift if one keeps their eyes towards our final end as Christians. Social media also brings a hellacious burden to any soul who posts with abandon for the sake of affirmation and acclamation as many teenagers who are given free rein on their devices want to do. Regardless of the way in which relativism is disseminated, the opportunity for division and, therefore, estrangement amongst families of the average American young person, ages 15-18 is rampant. Our young people are being presented with platform after platform of intoxicating ideologies that are not only pulling them away from their faith but from their families of origin. Parents have to be equipped with an understanding of one of Christianity’s most basic tenets, the fourth commandment to lovingly guide their young person to the answers they need and want to hear. Using the fourth commandment as the foundation for spiritual formation, families of origin for the American teenager between the ages of 15-18 are more likely to remain united against polarizing issues because honoring one’s father and mother catalyzes a mutually honoring foundation to enable the family and therefore society to thrive.
Honor means to hold in great respect. Without honor, society descends into chaos. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC, 1880) states that a “society is a group of persons bound together organically by a principle of unity that goes beyond each one of them. As an assembly that is at once visible and spiritual, a society endures through time.” This unification is at both the supernatural and natural level because the saints in heaven and the souls in purgatory are united with the church militant as members of the body of Christ.
Feast days of patron saints are celebrated across cultures and communities, and entire months of the year are devoted to focusing on the Blessed Mother, the Holy Family and various components of Jesus’s life, death and resurrection. We are called to honor our deceased loved ones and all holy souls in purgatory on All Souls Day and special intentions are shared at each Mass for specific people and communities. Frequently, one will find in homes tributes to not only saints, the Blessed Mother and the Holy Family, but also mementos of deceased ancestors as a tribute to the family’s lineage especially if family members were involved in a particular moment in history. Honor is a natural part of a functioning, not necessarily healthy, family of origin because, without them, one would obviously not exist.
Honoring one’s father and mother, as the commandment states, is easily taught to young children. Children across doctrines and religions are taught to respect parents and other important elders in their lives to various degrees and customs. Ideally, respect is first taught in the home and carried with the child as they move beyond their childhood home to form their own and the cycle repeats with children in their care. This is an important yet basic understanding of a commandment that is, in fact, nuanced because the titles of “mother” and “father” do not just include one’s biological parents and are often insinuated rather than officially bestowed through birth or adoption. An example of this is when a teenager chooses a confirmation sponsor that is not their parent or even their direct relative. This seems obvious because humans are meant to live in community and a child raised in a village, that recognizes that child as a gift, will no doubt have adults in their life they admire who are not their parents, let alone someone who is biologically related to them. Honor and loyalty in a group of individuals is also a symbiotic relationship as seen when a teacher develops a rapport with students that will naturally incline the students to work to please that teacher in their work. Students work to please that teacher and engagement (and teacher job satisfaction) within the classroom increases. Together, the teacher and students engage in a mutual exchange of respectful conversation and information transmission to maintain a unified front as they work to achieve good grades, administrative observation results or passing test scores. The teacher is more than likely not a member of the child’s biological family yet because the teacher has established an atmosphere of mutual respect, the child feels a certain loyalty to him/her and therefore strives for their approval.
In conclusion, the fourth commandment leads both parents and their children to “growing perfection day by day” and this influence is felt among those around them. Striving for this perfection is hard, but it will be worth it. Our parish 10th graders just recently completed their Confirmation retreat with our friends at NET Ministries (hire them!), and I am confident that these young souls who are tasked with praying our church forward are doing an excellent job being open to what Christ has for them. Please pray for them!