Kristine Schroeder
Lessons Learned
Recently, while listening to a sermon given by Deacon Rocky Mattingly at Sacred Heart Church’s Monday night Mass, a particular thought caught my attention. He said, “We must respect everyone, especially those whose beliefs or lifestyles differ from our own.” In theory, I believe most rational God-fearing people agree with that statement. In practice, it becomes much more difficult to live.
We only need to look back at our latest world crisis: COVID-19. Not only did countries disagree on exactly how to deal with the crisis, but governors, mayors, health departments and even individual members of families hotly contested the correct way to best eradicate the problem while maintaining some physical and emotional normalcy. In fact, it appears the debate continues and will for the next few years (hopefully not longer).
While part of the problem stemmed from a lack of sufficient information and understanding as to what exactly the world was confronting, another problem emerged. People became rooted in a certain belief or side, and meaningful dialogue deteriorated or disappeared completely. In fact, the disagreements became a war of propaganda. One side claimed we had no respect or care for our fellow man if we did not strictly adhere and agree to all that was expected. The other camp shouted that it was a plot to steal our inalienable right of freedom to live as we so chose.
Like all contentious issues, the only way for all parties to come out unscathed is to listen respectfully to opposing arguments, followed by honest, open dialogue. That does not appear to happen often. The truth of the recent situation was buried somewhere in the middle (as always), and we as a society are still trying to uncover it, which brings me back to the original point of this article.
If we as a country, society and even family wish to experience harmony, we must open our ears and our hearts to those who disagree with us and be willing to hear their differing views. A saying from a local publication posted on my refrigerator is a constant reminder of that idea. “Do not listen with the intent to reply but with the intent to understand.” To that, St. Francis might add, “Oh, grant that I may not so much seek to be understood as to understand.”
Listening and respecting other people’s points of view does not imply that we must agree with what is said. In fact, it is important at times to disagree, particularly if we feel that the ideas a loved one expresses will lead them down the wrong path. However, that opportunity will not even present itself if the lines of communication have not been developed previously.
Many times I have been guilty of exactly the opposite behavior as professed on my refrigerator, especially with a loved one. We are all guilty. We want someone to see it our way because we are sure that we know best. So what do we do? As they are talking, we listen with the intention of finding ways to prove them wrong. That close-minded method rarely works and, in fact, as I have painfully learned, it usually drives people further apart.
Jesus is our role model. He loves and respects all mankind. He hears our prayers and petitions and understands that we are weak and fallible human beings. Yet, He continually offers His love, mercy and advice through the people who surround us, the prayers we say, and the Scriptures we read. Maybe we spend too much time putting up a wall when He speaks to us – wanting to cling to our old ways. Deacon Greg Kandra wrote in a recent reflection, “Be brave! A wall may keep you safe. But a window will let in the light.” Let us be people of the Light.