By Deacon Mike Seibert
Connecting Faith and Life
I remember when Cameron asked me to do Exodus 90. He energetically explained all the asceticisms required: fasting two days a week, no sweets, no alcohol, no eating between meals, only water, black coffee and milk, pray an hour a day, exercise, get a full night’s sleep, limit use of technology like social media, cold showers ... There was probably more listed but my mind turned off at cold showers. What kind of freak would do such a thing even once, much less for 90 days!?
Turns out, lots of freaks. An estimated 100,000+ men walked together in the Exodus 90 last Lent. Why?
Many people would say that cold showers can’t be good for you — or it’s just a macho thing — or a pride thing. And sometimes you’d be right — but not this time. Cold showers are part of the genius of the program.
See, men need a battle to fight, an adventure to live and a beauty to rescue, according to John Eldredge’s “Wild at Heart.” Men want a challenge — men NEED a challenge. That’s why ironman competitions are a thing. Men want to push themselves to new limits. It’s the challenge that draws them into Exodus 90, but while doing it, they get two of the greatest things that men really need: Prayer and fraternity.
Whereas most men “don’t have time to pray,” Exodus men find that once they cut out the social media and TV, they suddenly have free time they never realized. We pray an hour per day — preferably a “holy hour,” but basically just pray throughout the day to add up to an hour. It’s a life-changer to make prayer a priority — especially for men for whom this was never a priority. Through prayer, they develop a relationship with Christ — maybe for the first time.
That relationship flows over into fraternity — a group of men walking Exodus together. While you could do it on your own, your chances of success are limited — AND — you will have missed out on the best thing that Exodus offers: Fraternity. I personally believe that with few exceptions, every Christian needs a small group of Christians to walk through life with. For that reason, I have focused much of my ministry in the Cursillo movement, which has “grouping” as a cornerstone. Exodus 90 has captured my attention because it’s another way to get men to join a group.
We meet weekly on Saturday before sunrise to drink black coffee and review how our asceticisms are going. We hold each other accountable, and we give each other grace and mercy since none of us do it perfectly. In doing so, we build bonds with other men centered on God. As we share the types of prayer or study we’ve been doing, we give each other ideas we might never have considered.
Fraternity is not all sitting around talking about cold showers. We share our struggles in developing a prayer life and avoiding temptations on fasting days. We try to bring a “nugget” to the group — something we learned in our study. We do things together socially and do projects together. It connects men to the parish more solidly and instills a foundation of prayer and study.
Most noticeably is the true brotherhood that is created. As we make ourselves vulnerable to each other in our discussions, our trust in each other grows and our lives become intertwined. What exactly intertwines us? The Holy Spirit. Now men who were nameless faces in the pews call each other “brother” when we meet. There’s an energy and excitement that filters into the whole parish, and what parish doesn’t need more energy and excitement?
So, the big question is, “Are cold showers really necessary?” Yes. Everything in Exodus is hard, but the cold showers have a unique way of making it “real” — every day. Men need a challenge — a hard thing to do.
I’ve seen it change men. There are four young men in my fraternity discerning the diaconate, and Exodus played a major role. What kind of freak would do Exodus 90? I would. Won’t you join me?
Exodus 90 starts Jan. 20, 2025, and ends Easter Sunday, April 20, 2025.