Natural Family Planning
By Ben and Lauren Dempsey
Special to The Message
In 2019, when our daughter was six months old, my husband Ben and I felt ready to start trying to grow our family. It did not happen as quickly as we anticipated, so when she turned one, we started tracking the best we knew how. Another year passed and nothing happened. I had not felt like myself since having our daughter and knew something was not right. Several friends had encouraged us to try the Creighton method of Natural Family Planning (NFP), as it is most effective for treating and diagnosing infertility. But me? I wasn’t infertile; I had a baby. It was hard to admit, but we knew we couldn’t do this on our own. In August 2021, I started meeting with a Creighton-trained NFP practitioner who also had experienced infertility. It meant so much that she understood how we were feeling. Ben and I charted for the next six months and in April 2022 felt called to seek professional care from a NaPro (Natural Procreative Technology) doctor. I consulted my practitioner and now good friend, Emily, and she gave us several names of NaPro doctors.
Ben felt called to a doctor in St Louis and my gut (Holy Spirit) told me to listen. I called Dr. Gavin Puthoff’s office at Veritas Fertility, a week before we happened to be heading to St Louis anyway. I thought they’d laugh at me for trying to get in so soon. Not when God’s in control. They had an opening that Monday. I learned from a quick Google search that “Veritas” means “truth.” The truth was exactly what we were searching for.
When we walked into his office, my breath was taken away. The most beautiful image of the Blessed Virgin Mary, pregnant with baby Jesus, hung right in the entryway. A sure sign from God we were on the right path.
We saw Dr. Puthoff’s nurse practitioner. After reviewing my Creighton chart and asking a few questions, she had me diagnosed. She said I’d need to come back in a few weeks for thorough testing to confirm, but she believed I had a Uterine Isthmocele, a condition that can develop after a C-section when the uterus doesn’t heal properly. She even scheduled surgery for July. We thought she was getting ahead of herself, but went along with it, hopeful for answers. She mentioned that Dr. Puthoff was one of just a handful of doctors in the U.S. trained in properly repairing this condition and that we were in the right place.
A few weeks later, Dr. Puthoff officially diagnosed me, noting my uterine lining was so thin at my C-section incision, that had I gotten pregnant, we would have most likely lost the baby by 17 weeks due to uterine rupture. My uterus had become a hostile environment, full of infection. This solidified the importance of the Creighton tracking method, that no symptom is normal or should be thrown aside. The pain I had each month was terrible but I had previously chalked it up to bad cycles. Dr. Puthoff confirmed that to get pregnant, I would need to have surgery. An answer to hundreds of prayers to God to lead us where He wanted us. We both felt called to more children, but ultimately willing to follow His will for our future. His next surgery date wasn’t until September, but we mentioned that his NP had penciled us in already. Thank God she had scheduled my surgery for July 20, my mom’s birthday, and saving us two more months of waiting. On the way home from that visit, I realized it was April 28, the feast of St. Gianna Molla, one of my patron saints and a saint so present to us. She was interceding from heaven for us and always praying, a sign we were on the right path.
On July 20, 2022, after getting prepped for surgery, the nurse walked in to wheel me back to the operating room (OR). Seeing me clutching my St. Gianna prayer card, she smiled and assured me that I was welcome to bring it. She also said the OR staff had already prayed over my surgery. Another sign from God, he had our infertility in his hands. Our surgery went well and Dr. Puthoff confirmed how much he had to repair from the years of inflammation. He was hopeful and confident that the surgery was a success and also informed us that 50 percent of C-sections end up with a Uterine Isthmocele and 80 percent of all patients experiencing secondary infertility post C-sections were due to Uterine Isthmocele. These numbers were shocking to us! We didn’t want anyone to go through what we had, and if they did, we wanted to help and spread the word about this diagnosis and our amazing team of doctors.
We continued following up with our team at Veritas, healing well and confirming my body was cycling normally again through charting. I felt better than I had in three years and we knew that even if we did not conceive again, it was worth it for my overall health. Our doctors and nurses were with us every step of the way.
This past June we found out we were pregnant, only to realize a few days later I had miscarried. Ben and I felt so blessed by this gift from God, not only to have a baby to pray for us in Heaven but a gift that He is always present and a sign my body was working. In August, I was pregnant again. We entered this pregnancy more cautiously but also entrusted this life to Mother Mary. Trusting in her intercession gave us peace and we knew there was no one more knowing of pain and loss than her; this life was in her hands.
So far everything has gone well, with our 20-week anatomy scan right before Christmas. Our baby looks perfect! He is a big boy and is due at the end of April, the best Christmas gift we could have received.
Without the help of NFP, Creighton method and NaPro technology, we truly believe we would not have received a proper diagnosis or treatment. We are so thankful God led us to the right support to guide us in growing our family. It was not an easy cross to carry but brought us closer to each other and to Jesus. Though it is not always the path we would choose for ourselves, HIS is the path that is best for us. Had we forced a pregnancy with in vitro fertilization we would have never sustained a baby full term and would have jeopardized my health and our fertility. It is not always clear why God sends us the crosses we bear or the challenges we face, however, like the saints before us, his plan is our path to holiness and to heaven…