By Jenna Kruse, LSW
October 25, 2019
You are in the car line to pick up your student; they hop in the car, and you immediately ask, “How was your day at school?” Most parents are immediately met with a frustrated “It was fine” response from their child in the back seat. Parents may continue to ask questions to try to find out what happened during the day to create this mood, yet the student only becomes more frustrated.
This is a scenario that many parents know all too well. As parents trying to engage in positive conversations with their children, it is very easy to take these short, frustrated responses to heart. The next step may be to ask the teacher if they are acting out at school. When asked, the teacher may respond, “No, your child does very well all day and is very pleasant,” which leaves you even more puzzled as the parent who falls victim to these difficult afternoons.
Consider this: A typical day for an adult might include waking up early, getting ready for work, working all day, engaging in relationships with coworkers and family, answering questions and helping others; the list goes on and on. Students often experience the same challenges throughout the day; at school, the students are met with rules, expectations, routine, intense focus, and are answering questions and making difficult decisions all day.
What is different between an adult and a child, however, is the coping skills that are used to help face these daily tasks. Most adults have positive coping skills that help them with this; kids don’t always have those skills yet, which is where parents play a key role. The following are simple ways parents can help their child conquer the afternoon struggles.
Encouragement Over Questioning – After exerting much thought and energy, even some adults need silence after a long day of work. Children are no different. Offering a smile and an encouraging phrase such as “I hope you had a great day!” or “I’m happy to see you!” instead of a string of questions help children feel more relaxed. It is also important that parents become comfortable sitting in silence and saving questions about your student’s day for dinner or after they have had time to decompress from their day.
Brain Break – Allow your student a break between school and homework time. Students are often overstimulated from school. By providing students a break to color, listen to music, play outside or do a craft, the student is able to relax their brain and body before they are asked to complete more work. A strong homework routine also helps students to know what is expected of them and decreases the chances of arguments when it is homework time.
Afternoon Snack – Provide your student with a healthy and nutritious snack after school. Some students eat lunch as early as 10:50; after exerting energy all day, students are often very hungry after school. Having a snack prepared helps you avoid “hangry” and sets you up for a more positive afternoon with your child.
By supporting your student these ways, you are fostering positive coping skills and routine which are skills that aid students in their school years and beyond.
Youth First social worker Jenna Kruse serves St. Benedict Cathedral School and Holy Rosary School.