By Deena Bodine, LCSW
We live in a society that glamorizes “busy.”
Our calendars are full, but we are left at the end of the day feeling less than fulfilled. We spend our days busy with work and parenting responsibilities, squeezing in time for maintaining a household with chores and upkeep. Often we forget to slow down and enjoy the little moments.
We seem to have an expectation that if we work hard now, this will allow us to relax and enjoy life later. We are fooling ourselves. Life really is about the little things. And in our busy world, those small moments of joy and connection matter.
While we may not be able to slow our world or eliminate tasks from our calendar, we can take steps to increase the moments that matter and remind ourselves of what is truly important.
One way to do just this is through family rituals. Developing family rituals can help to ensure that we form impactful, shared experiences amid the everyday busyness of our lives. Family rituals and traditions help create family culture. Through this family culture, we encourage nurturing bonds between siblings and parents; and we develop a sense of belonging while helping to create a memorable childhood.
Family rituals can be simple daily, weekly, or seasonal traditions that your family looks forward to. The rituals do not need to be expensive or extravagant.
Creating a bedtime routine of dinner, followed by a bath and reading a book while snuggling, can be a simple and encouraging ritual. Selecting a phrase or gesture (the “I love you” sign is an example) to use in greetings or goodbyes is another no-cost and low-time-commitment idea.
Another ritual idea includes implementing a weekly (or more frequently) family dinner where all family members are encouraged to disconnect from TV, cell phones and computers, and reconnect with one another. This is a great opportunity to incorporate a conversation jar with prompts for all members to help start a discussion.
Another ritual idea is to start a family gratitude journal where each member adds one thing they appreciate on a daily or weekly basis. Reviewing those entries at the end of the month can be entertaining.
As children grow older, implementing a regular family meeting can provide an outlet to discuss activities and events that need to be included on the family calendar (tests, practices, dance classes, sleepovers, etc.); and it also can serve as an avenue for conversations about chores and allowances, or other tougher topics.
We can also add more seasonal rituals such as apple picking, hiking, decorating cookies, building a snowman or planting a garden.
There are so many possibilities for family rituals, and this could be a great opportunity for all members to provide suggestions (i.e. each member chooses an activity for a “Sunday Funday”). The important part of the ritual is less about what you are doing and more about doing it together as a family.
For more family ritual ideas, please visit the Youth First Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/YouthFirstInc/ to find suggestions and to add your favorite family ritual.
Deena Bodine, LCSW, is the Youth First social worker at Reitz Memorial High School.